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All about Courtney...
Current Month
Apr. 24th, 2005 @ 08:26 pm just do it
Pick ONE from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.

* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* bare foot or shoes
* jeans or slacks
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or geek
* hugs or kisses
* intense or laidback
How are you Feeling?
* Love*
Apr. 11th, 2005 @ 07:28 am 3 weeks...
My Mood at this moment: frustratedfrustrated
What I am listening to: " i hate everything about you"
Well there is excatly 3 weeks till i turn 21... part of me is looking very foward to it and the other part of me just wants the next month to be over =(
I have so much stuff to do and so little time to do it. I still dont know excatly when we can start moving stuff into the new place cause the people that live there now dont know when they are excatly moving out and it would make my life eaiser if i could start going over there like once or twice a week with stuff so i can set up the place as much as possible because if we move everything may1st... i have to go to hannah's first communion and then trista and franco are taking me out that night and then the 2nd is my birthday so i am going to be all over the place.. i need to go renew my license that day, make sure everything is all set for florida and go to my moms for dinner that night... its all so complicated i just wish there were more hours in a day yanno?
I have been spending most my time with erinn, trista and allison, cause no one else calls to hang out...except juli but she works nights and i work days, but we talk as much as possible. her birthday is ten days after mine... were gonna have a good time.. Jen is going to go on this "rant about people who thinkmphones only work one way" well fuck that... she got mad cause i didnt call her back one saturday and i appolgized and wrote to her and she never wrote me back so why should i call her, i mean i love her to death dont get me wrong, she is a wonderful person and a great friend but if she is the one that is mad at me i am not going to call her until she is done being mad at me... she used topull that bull shit all the time anyways.... there has been plenty of times we were supposed to hang out on a saturday night and she never called/// or called and canceled... or on a sundays when i told her i would be in north brookfield she was supposed to call me to let me know when i could come out there and she never did... but now im the bad guy cause i havent called her... well if you ask any one i have been spending my time with latley, i AM NOT GOING TO LET PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!! i am just to nice of a person, drive everyone here, do everything for everyone, call everyone... fuck that, why should i always be the one calling my friends why should i always be the one driving around wasting my gas that people dont even give me gas money! well i am not and my friends know that. i am not going to let people walk all over me anymore. i dont have time for that bull shit... anwyays... now that i have vented i am going to work...

Work.... gym, tanning and home to pack up my house... *arghh** what a life
How are you Feeling?
* Love*
Apr. 10th, 2005 @ 07:49 am arghhhhhhh.......
My Mood at this moment: tiredtired
What I am listening to: So much for my happy ending
Well this week has been very interesting... Tuesday danny came into my work and told me we are moving on may 1st.... we have been talking about moving and all but i didnt know i was only going to get 3 weeks notice and not to mention all the things going on that weekend... its hannah's first communion, two days before we go on vacation, the day before dannys final he needs to take to graduate and the day before my birthday(may2nd dont u for get it) so now i have to do all this stuff in one weekend and still try to enjoy my birthday =(

I didnt really do anything special this weekend... worked... work function and fighting with danny.... so yup nothing good this weekend.... i bought some drinky drinks and i guess ill just drink them this weekend... my goal is to have all the alcohol out of my fridge by the time i move out.... hehe... its gonna be quite the interesting weekend.... =)

Well its 7 in the morning and i am awake =( not kosher... so im just smokin a blunt to hopefully tire my self...

ttfn <3Courtney
How are you Feeling?
* Love*
Mar. 30th, 2005 @ 07:17 am wow
My Mood at this moment: workingworking
What I am listening to: only you
... I havent written in a very long time. I have been extremly busy and tired. After work i have been going to the gym and tanning and i dont get home till like 8 or so at night. I have also been spending a lot of time with trista, erinn and allison. Its been fun. I am starting to be more socialbe... I actually went to boston with them one night and hung out at some kids house... thats a big step for me. Went to shabooms 2 weeks ago and bradford punched me in the face cause he was being a drunk asshole... (what else is new) I am so glad nothing came of that because the more i get to know him the more i wanna punch him.. he is just obnxious.. he doesnt have a job and all he does is spend his money on booze and his parents suppoert him... its pretty gay... 2 saturdays ago... Allsion, trista, erinn franco and i went to provicence... i dont remeber much of the night. it was pretty fun tho i guess... Easter was good... life is pretty good... ive lost 14 pounds and im getting tan...

But now its time to get ready for work.. I'll try to keep this more updated... =)

How are you Feeling?
* Love*
Mar. 4th, 2005 @ 08:15 pm ahhh...
My Mood at this moment: confusedconfused
Well i havent written in a while... Not much has changed... People suck... Boyfriend sucks... family sucks... you know how it is? Danny and i have been fighting big time... I apperntly cant do anything right... honestly i really think he likes men... and i am just a cover up... We havent had sex in over a month... but that was my choice, but he doesnt try either. I dont know i just think that i need some excitin ment in my life... I know that i love him but sometimes i wonder if i am in love with him...
Matt is my best friend in the whole world and i have had the biggest crush on him since i can remember, i dont know why we are not together. He is the perfect man, he would never cheat, he truelyt adors me and he has a good head on his sholders... the only thing is he is in the air force and will be living in illinois for the next 2 and a half years... It just sucks... i am pretty sure that he has feelings for me too but i am not sure what kind of feelings that are... he always tells me he loves me and i am his best friend and he wouldnt trade me for anything in the world... however he told me theese things a little to late cause now i am with danny and i love him... its just so confusing... i hate it... =( anyways going to boston with the girls tonight....

hopefully i will have a good time

How are you Feeling?
* Love*
Feb. 22nd, 2005 @ 06:49 am lalala
My Mood at this moment: exhaustedexhausted
Well its 644 am and im up because tuesday is the shittiest day of the week. I hate being to work for 7... YUCK! anyways.. I dont have much to write about except lindsay replied to my post and then i IMed her and had a nice talking to with her. It went okay, but i dont know... I am really just sick of excuses yanno? She has an excuse for everything... I just dont know, Someone replied to her reply and at first i thought they were talking about me, but then i realized that i spelled everything right in my journal... it was lindsay they were talking about needing spell checker cause she spelt ALOT of things wrong... I dont know who did that but if she wants to be mean to me then i guess someone is sticking up for me... Although it wasnt nice of who ever wrote that to write it... but since i dont know who did it i cant yell at anyone now can i? =) It feels good to have people stick up for me.... Tonight im going out with the girls to the bar... Trista is gonna drive so i can get cocked cause she has to work at 7 tommrow and i dont have to work at all... Well i must leave for work now... Write more later
How are you Feeling?
* Love*
Feb. 21st, 2005 @ 09:07 am Little girls are so annoying
My Mood at this moment: calmcalm
Well i had a good weekend despite Lindsay trying to start shit. I mean its like she wont go away.. Finding excuses to contact me, or try and piss me off, well sorry hunny Im a little more mature than you are and i dont need drama, thats why i stopped talking to you! Why would i want to be friends with someone i couldnt trust. And she used to say " i know you very well blah blah blah" Well Fuck you cause you dont, I never told her SHIT... nothing of importance, nothing about me that was really personal because i didnt trust her and i dont go around telling people ive been hanging out with for a month personal things about me. The ONLY people who really knoe anything about me are Danny, Juli, Jen and Matt... And well lets see Ive been friends with Juli since i was 13... So yeah i can trust her and Ive been friends with Jen since i was 16 so yeah i know i can trust her and those two Know it ALL cause they are the only two girls that i have been friends with that havent stabbed me in the back, or told someone something i told them that was private... Matt has been my friend since kindergarten and he will always be the best male friend that i have in my life. He's so sweet and so honest and so wonderful i wouldnt give him up for the world... Serisouly there are still things about me that Danny doesnt even know so why would i go around telling little girls who i KNOW i cant trust cause when they are drunk they fuking have to get their stomach pumped or Snort lines in the bath rooom at friendlys when they worked there. Nope. I was just so annoyed cause the bitch thinks that I canged her pass word... Well She has way more enimes than just me, and i dont have time to fuck around with that shit... And then she comments on a live journal thing i commented on in Inches from over 2 weeks ago.. Pathetic.. I know she is just trying to get me to react and play her little games but i dont need that shit i would rather have NO one and be alone than be friends with her again if she is going to act that way... Like i said to her on saturday... she is my family and i love her even when were not getting alonng but now shes just gone to far and i will not be a part of their games ever again.. And she tried talking to danny about him and inches well... Ive known danny and inches a lot longer than she has and Danny will never be a part of her life again because of the way she treats him... it has nothing to do with me... even when me and Inches were hanging out...she didnt call him or make an effort to hang out with him.. So i dont blame him for not wanting someone that isnt going to make time for him in his life.
Enough about that.. Week in recap....

Valentines day was good... Danny got me a diamond ring, a stuffed dog and flowers... We went out to eat and cam home and just enjoyed a quite evenin together.
Tuesday.. i found out that he told my mom i said i wish she were dead and we got into a HUGE fight and he threw his cell phone at me and i have a wicked bruise on my face...
Wendesday... i didnt do much of anyting but work...
Thursday i worked till 5 and then went to rhode island to find out when my brother is coming home from iraq. I cant wait... im so excited.. i love him and miss him so much...
Friday.. i worked and then just hung out with allison for a little... nothign exciting
Saturday i didnt do much of anything and then me and allison started making mixed drinks and then Erinn and Trista came over.. and jean was casuing drama... like always... Shes a little fucked up in the head sometimes. She has this fear that trista is going to leave her and when she is with trista she doesnt answer the phone when me erinn or allison call cause she is affraid trista will wanna go hang out with us instead... Its not like we all cant hang out together she just so weird sometimes.
Sunday i went to my moms for dinner and then came back her and got shitty... although i had taken some trazadone and mixed with the booze i couldnt even keep my eyes open... So much for being highly intoxitcated all weekend.. haha... OH well i still had a good one...

Matty poo is back in the states now and that excites me to no end! =)

Snowing today... dont know what im doing... maybe go to wal mart with allison....

<3 Courtney
How are you Feeling?
* Love*
Feb. 16th, 2005 @ 07:59 am roar
My Mood at this moment: crankycranky
Well Brad is finally talking to me again. Apprently he was mad cause i didnt believe he was sick. Well brad if you didnt drink so much with your diabtes you probally wouldnt have been feeling sick... IDOT! Hes a bar fag anyways... i deftinaly dont want to be with someone whos but doesnt leave the bar stool from friday till monday night. No aloholics for me... have one already.. my mom and lets just say her and i are not gettin along either. But its mostly dannys fault.. i mean its my moms fault because she didnt invite me over on sunday but its dannys fault that she is mad at me cause he called her and told her everything i said about her. Well it wasnt his business to be getting into.. yanno? And my mom doesnt believe that danny hits me. Isnt that nice? My brother called me this morning at 5 to tell me that. Well i guess the bruise on my face i gave to my self huh? My mom is fucked up in the head. I really dont care any more she just really needs to pay danny and I back the 300 dollars she borrowed... Yesterday i locked my keys in my car when i was coming back from my lunch break! grrr... what a day i tell ya... its not been a good week so far BUT i have saturday sunday and monday off so i can be intoxicated all weekeend!!! Woohoo... Erinn and Allison will be intoxicated with me! hehe... anyways must go to work now

<3 Courtney
How are you Feeling?
* Love*
Feb. 13th, 2005 @ 06:05 pm Drunken Dialing is NOT recomended....
Well last night was a good night... I spent the night with allison and Erinn... We got shitty at my house while we waited for a oh so cool 21 year old friends to get their asses off the bar stools and stop spending that much money on booze when they can get drunker for way cheaper with us.. Then we went back to francos and well lets just say i was very shitty and did some drunk dialing and called brad... and now he probally hates me cause i dont even remember the conversation... It was wild... Good times with the girls... They can always make me laugh... I know they used to piss me off cause we never hung out but at least they always asked and it was my fault that i didnt go but now that i have been going ive been having the best time of my life. I am finally happy and sociable... its all allison's doing... She is like my other half... i dont know we started hanging out and its like she is the other half of my brain... im lost with out her... and were always together now... where theirs an allison theirs a courtney... LoL Its great to finally have people like that in my life... Shes like my jewls... we used to be attached at the hip... we were never with out eachother... and then shit happened but were back to hanging out again and all my friends i chill with now think shes cools shit so now she just neeeds to be more sociable and come out more... she is just shy and i understand it.... well write more later
How are you Feeling?
* Love*
Feb. 8th, 2005 @ 05:57 am Florida is only 83 days away!
My Mood at this moment: happyhappy
What I am listening to: "Ass like that"
I AM GOING TO FLORIDA FOR MY BIRTHDAY!! i am so excited... danny booked the tickets the other day.. i am so excited i have never been anywhere. i am just kinda nervous to be on the plane... and i am determiened to loose 20 pounds by the time i go!!

Well i havent written in a while. Ive been very busy. I am actually really starting to be happy! its amazing! I have been spending a lot of time with Jean, trista, erinn and Allison. Its been great... Unlike some other people to remain nameless they actually call me and want to hang out and want to go out places with me. Its amazing what happenes when you find real friends. I think i am finally starting to get my life in order. the only thing that isnt good right now is me and danny. I love him very much, he is my best friend but i was in a relationship from when i was 16 to 18 and then ive been with danny since i was 18. I haven't experinced life enough to be sure that i want to be with him for the rest of my life. I was pushing getting engaged for a while but ive realized that i dont know what i want to do withh my life and i dont want to bring my mess into someone else's life and mess them up. I dont know what i would do with out danny. He really has been my hero over the past couple of years but he knows what i am feeling and he understands it. I dont want to be 30 and cheating on my husband cause i didnt get to live life in my prime years. So he is still going to live here and were still going to date but if some guy were to ask me out i am going to go and when i wanna stay out till 4 in the morning with the girls im gonna do it. I cant feel like i a married any more. Im going to be 21 in less than 3 months and i feel like i am 40. its not good. I have gained weight and lost a bunch of friends being this way and im not going to do it again. i will not loose theese people that make me feel good about myself... The only people that have made me feel *happy* in the past few months... well u know who u are...

I dont have much else to update excpet i have been getting sick like every other day.. falling asleep mad early and have stomach aches. Friday night Allison, jean and trista came over. It was an interesting night. We smoked and drank and then brad called cause he was going to come too but he didnt so he called to tell me that he was sorry for not comming but he deftinaly wants to hang out some time. =) I dont *like* brad i just think he is cute. its fun to flirt with him. Hes a nice guy and hes funny.. and well if he were to ask me out id probally say yes but i dont knowright now.
Saturday Jen and juli and allison were here. It was good time.. i like jen and juli hanging out tey are good people and they get along really good. its amazing to have friends get along with other friends...Me and allison got completly shitfaced. it was amazing.. then trista and erinn stopped by.. i had some sex that night... but i dont remember parts of it... ohh well.. we also went to puffin stuff on saturday... good times...

Sunday allison and i went to the mall and spent money we didnt have one things we didnt need. well i guess i needed a new work outfit... but i call it my i look sexy outfit... lol... and then we went to allisons to watch the game witch tuned into more of watching her fight with her sister... Good time...

Yesterday i worked and was sick and i was gonna hang out with trista when i got out of work but i didnt feel good and i passed out... yuck! everyone called me like 16 times... its so annoying... its like if i didnt answer obvisouly i am busy so ill call ya back yanno? anyways...
Work at 7 so i must go get ready.....

* Life is good***

How are you Feeling?
* Love*